Aloness

Last night i had an interesting conversation.
Certain people think I feel alone, true as they may be "i am never really alone, i just always feel alone".
Come to think of it  I have great friends, although i have isolated myself from them recently, I still know they are there for me, i just need to call on them.

But why do i feel alone when i have so many great people around me, why is anyone every alone. I don't think you can ever be alone, you can feel alone, but you won't be alone, because there are so many ways to communicate.

I  blame technology. One feels so safe to just stay home and sit behind a computer and just type away, kind of like what i am doing now. And not face the real world outside of your house, or even within your own house hold.

Back to the topic of me feeling alone, I think there are so many different reasons behind it. From the past to the present, life experiences, pain and happiness, all those feelings that i bottled up for what ever reason, i feel like they are all coming back.

Would anyone say it is better to bottle up ones emotions or is it better to express them. I have always been told, not to show too much emotions or one become weak. I don't want to be weak or appear week.
But late at night when i sleep, I feel the need to cry, but I have discipline myself not to show any feelings, not even in a dark rectangular room with a bed and a few furniture. Not even my pillow do i want to see me cry.


HopefulR0mantic
xoxx

Now i ask myself and you, how do i expect to move forward if i don't want to express my feelings. I was one told the only way let go of the past is to come to terms with it. And how do i do that without letting my emotions show.??